Stuff about death and the dying process

The last month and a half has been taken up with the death of my holy mother-in-law, her funeral and her burial. It has been a very privileged time watching the unfolding of God's perfect plan for her final weeks. But that's the topic of a future blog-post, if He gives me time to put it together.

For now I just want to highlight some very good resource material for those of who have received a terminal diagnosis, their loved ones, and the special teams of nurses and doctors and chaplains who care for people in the end stages of their lives.

Firstly, Dr Kathryn Mannix's book, 'With the end in mind' is a collection of stories from her years as part of various palliative care teams in the U.K. In particular, 'Sabine's story' is the best, most succinct description of what a normal death looks like that I have ever come across. After reading it all of my experiences in nursing homes over the past 20 years suddenly had context and a place in that narrative description.

Here's the extract from her book that contains the important part of Sabine's story. Needless to say, the whole book is well worth reading.

The link to the Amazon page for this book : 
​www.amazon.com/End-Mind-Dying-Wisdom-Denial/dp/0316504483

The next book is 'Heaven's Homecoming' by Fr Douglas McKay. In it he tells stories from the nursing home where he was chaplain about the unique ways God prepared each person for death, and how amazingly God answered each person's wishes for the circumstances under which that great and longed for meeting would take place.

It is a book you can read and re-read again and get more out of it at each reading. I confess that I didn't want this book to end, so I only let myself read one story at each sitting.

The link to the Amazon page for this book:
www.amazon.com/Heavens-Homecoming-Father-Douglas-McKay/dp/1467503436 

In between the clinician's view and the chaplain's view, is the view of the nurses, and that's where this third book fits in: 'An Army in Heaven' by Kelley Jankowski. There's plenty of 'good and normal', 'special and holy' and 'downright spooky' within its pages.

All three views are important, in order to get the full picture.

The link to the Amazon page for this book:
www.amazon.com/Army-Heaven-Kelley-Jankowski/dp/1682131823  ​

But even that is not the full story, and you will find that in the account of the near death experience of Baroness Von Trapp (the one the movie 'The Sound of Music' was based on) in the PDF below (3 x double sided A4).

​The booklet also contains many useful prayers for those facing death themselves, and for their loved ones who are keeping vigil with them for the Lords arrival.  

The psalms tell us that 'precious in the eyes of the Lord is the death of His faithful'. That's a truth we can rely on, and these books and booklets highlight just how true this is.

Reading them can take away your fear of death, help you start important conversations with your loved ones, and help you see more clearly the active hand of God in the lives of those around you who are currently in their 'end story'.